This was a very serious conversation I had yesterday with Geeka on the way back from the very cool farmer's market (butternut squash fo 75 cents, giant heads of cauliflower for $2, homemade sugar-free jams for $4.50). It all started with the fact that we both work with complete morons. More specifically, we both have bosses taht are complete morons. Geeka's moron is the Canadian moron. She has been with this moron for too long. I'm with the Pocket-Gay Moron. Unfortunately, I've been with my moron for longer, but he wasn't always a moron.
However, this opened up new avenues for exploring morons. Because I really think that I attract this special breed of morons known as the "Gay morons". Now I must say, I'm perfectly find with this lifestyle for people who find themselves attracted to others of the same sex. I'd rather know about that first though. I don't know how many blind dates my first gay moron set up on with other men who were more interested in him than me.
Ok, back to business... First, gay morons are not exactly hiding the fact (although the PG is not exactly out of the closet but he isn't all the way into closet either, but he is small enough you can't always see where he is at a given moment). Second, they pretend to be this cool person who has all this fun when in the background they are like models on "America's Next Top Model" - ready to stab you in the back and throw you underneath the bus (or ACCESS van). Third, they need to be the most important person in the relatioship and demand it. If they aren't, they just fight with you so you go away. Fourth, they love to do things just to drive you absolutely batty because they love to see you upsest. (The PG has been carrying around these loud-ass magnets that make noise when you throw them together. He has been using them for over a week now. No problem, but there are tons of computer equipment in my building. Computer equipment that doesn't like magnets.... Getting the picture here?)
I'm not saying that I don't attract other morons and I'm not saying that only me and Geeka are specializing this. I'm sorry to say, but I even think Image Goddess attracted the same Canadian moron that I had. It wasn't our fault that time. We were hurt. We needed physical therapy. We were assigned the Canadian moron. (Although the verdict on this is still way out there. Somehow this man is still sort of right about my knee, although I'm still in pain.)
So the question is out there, if you are a moron magnet, how to do demagnetize yourself? Is there some sort of spray that I can get to get all the morons away? It seems as if I left one gay moron for another gay moron. In fact, I think my PG morphed into a bigger moron after I got rid of the other gay moron. Did I cause that because I no longer had a moron attached to me?
Enough of this -- but here, for some fun and what I teased about earlier: Irish Stepdancing Monkeys:
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2 comments:
Now, now - you're being a bit hard on our PT Canadian. He wasn't a moron. I think you were more annoyed with him because he pushed you. Or didn't push you when you wanted. I have to say he always helped me, and gave me better suggestions than my actual doctors.
However, I do have my own gay moron - the Kiwi. But I don't know if he qualifies, he's psychotic also.
I think I was writing this on a day that all men sucked and nothing was going to change my mind on that one. I also get crabby at him when I go a couple days with knee pain, knowing that my doctor took the sign of me being released from PT as being a sign that everything is ok - even if I'm in pain.
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